Sunday, May 27, 2007

impetuous child

it is strange how adult one can think he is... i was thinking i'm a well thinking person... older than my age maybe...

it turned out i'm just hasting foolish child like worst ones i can see around me...
like the people i feel pity for... or laugh about their acts.. laugh how they cannot see the so clear reality..

thought i'm a high level analyzer..

it turned out to be that i missed one major analytical fact... when u step outside of the circle.. and look... things look so differently...
i thought i'm able to see reality if actions around me.... it turned out that i'm just staying outside the cirlcle... maybe too chicken to get in...

when i finally got inside the circle... i messed things up... violating one of my basic rules so simply.. leading myself into critical situation...

Saturday, May 19, 2007

walking...

learning is actually amazing..

when we were small kids.. we try to walk... move ur leg there.. move your leg highr... don't lean forward or you'll fall....

we actually think of what we are doing.. we think of the details... i doubt if any of us remember his trial.. we were less than 2 years probably...

but u can see it in other new kids... u can see it even more while learning to drive a car... the same story... u can't even focus on other cars in the street because u r busy thinking when to put ur leg.. and how much u push.. when u should move the gear to the next level...

but for some reason... we tend to forget the magic feeling of learning... of gaining a new ability...

two days ago... i was chatting... with my head down on my desk and i was looking to the floor...
i actually had my hands on the keyboard and that's it... i didn't think of where that letter is located... text was just being inserted into the screen... it felt amazing...

i started to get thirsty for that feeling....